It's Happened Once Again I'll Turn To A Friend

I’m a very social person. I keep my family and friends close and I like to know that everyone else I meet like me. I like to entertain people. It’s important to me. However I’ve always accepted that people come and go from your life and I’ve reached an age where that happens more than possibly any other time. It seems that from the time we graduate from high school and through our early and mid twenties people are continually coming into and leaving our lives. It’s come to the point for me that I’ve learned to expect it from at least 90% of the people I meet. I’ve always felt that there were some people who I’ve let myself lose close contact with who were meant to be in my life, if not physically there, then at the very least, by taking advantage of modern technology and talking regularly.

This is a lesson, I’ll admit, I’ve had to learn and relearn, and still it doesn’t always sink in. I’ve been taken care of by a few long lost friends during my travels and there’s no way to express my gratitude.

In Rapid City, I was surprised by a friend who gave me a couch to sleep on if I felt like I needed it. In Salt Lake City, I had to sneak around in order to do my best to learn what life was like for the homeless. I simply know too many people there and I guess they all love me. In Seattle I had a couch to sleep on both from new and old friends. From the time I left Seattle until I arrived in the Monterey Peninsula, I really learned to miss familiar faces. That’s not to say that I didn’t come in contact with some great people, new friends just aren’t as calming as old friends.

When I arrived in Monterey, I knew I had a friend here and I was excited to see her. I’ve let some people drift away, that I never should have, but that time apart has made me realize just how important their friendship is to my life. Many of my friends who I’ve made since I parted ways with one such friend have heard more stories than ever wanted about “The Blonde One”. (I went through a stage in 2007 when some of my friends were described by the color of their hair.)

In my first week in San Francisco I was visited by her. Walking away from Fisherman’s Wharf that afternoon I realized that I had just made back a friend that I thought I’d lost forever. That day I told her I’d do my best to spend a couple weeks in Monterey so I could visit her again.

Two days after I arrived here, I was reminded of another long lost friend who lives here. I’m so thankful also to this friend and her husband. They’ve given me a place to stay if I need such a place. They’ve made sure I had enough to eat and told me where to go to look for work.

There were always times that I wouldn’t see a person that was always at the same dinners and shelters as me in other cities for a night or two, and then when I did finally see them again and asked where they were, the answer always came back the same, “I stayed at a friend’s house. I just really needed to get away from this for a while.” Homeless people aren’t loners. We’re not people without family or friends. We’re also not happy feeling like we’re mooching off of friends and family members, and so, people stay on the streets trying to make it out on their own. But, there are times you need to get away from sleeping on a park bench or on the floor of some church next to some smelly, snoring dude. It is times like this that you take advantage of the invitations of, “You can sleep on my couch/spare bed” or “Let me take you out to dinner”.

Moral of the story is: We all know who our true friends are. We need to cherish those friendships more than we do sometimes. Maybe I’m not telling you anything you don’t know, but it’s something I’ve only recently learned… again.

Well, I guess this is growing up.

Will Work For Food (Something That Produces Results)

Life in a small town is different from life in the big city. Police care that there's a crack in your windshield. People have yards. The library's wireless signal isn't bogged down by all the people. And if you want to survive, you have to slow down.

On Tuesday, I was walking around getting to know the area a little better when I saw four or five REALLY old men digging around a tree. They had already cut all the branches off and were in the process of digging the trunk/stump out of the ground. Upon first inspection I thought, "These guys are way too old to be doing this." But I guess you can't tell a man to stop doing yard work, can you? I walked up and asked if they needed some help. They looked surprised and basically said if you want.

While digging the root system of a 60 year old ceder tree, I think it was ceder, they told me that they were the "Green Team". Also they told me they were the "Tuesday Troopers". Apparently the name had changed a few times. Every Tuesday a group of retired men who belong to the First Presbyterian Church in Monterey, meet at the church and do landscaping, and the group has been doing it for 13 years.

So I worked, and I worked hard. It was fun! I haven't done yard work and liked it ever, but I also haven't done yard work that was my decision to do. When we were about done they asked me if I'd like to stay for lunch, and I'm not one to turn down lunch.

We got the tree out of the ground and filled in the whole it left. Then they went to an unnoticeable part of the church yard and dug up some sod to put on top of the dirt. By the time it was all said and done I was dirty, happy, and ready to eat. There's a ladies group that meets every week at the church, and they always have a potluck. I guess this time they invited the men to join in, which was lucky for me. There was more food there than I could have imagined, and although I didn't quite get one of each, what I had was excellent.

Moral of the story: Good things happen when we forget about what we need to do and help each other. I feel like we forget this. We have so many distractions in our lives; work, trying to find work, computers, the price of gas, classes, that douche bag that cut you off this morning, that we forget that cooperation, service, and love are what matters most.

So let's take a page from small town life's book and slow down. Smell the roses and pay attention to what's going on around you; someone might need your help.

I thought I should mention that I'm well again. I got over whatever was wrong with me a few days ago. Thank you to everyone who had ideas. You're kindness and of course, what you told me to do, has healed me.

I've also been noticing more and more people spreading the word. I watch where traffic to the blog is coming from, and it's always great to see message boards and blogs telling people to pay attention to what's being written here. Thank you so much to those of you who tell other people. I've said it a hundred times, but I really do mean it when I say that it makes all the difference to me.

I Left San Francisco Last Night

I left San Francisco last night. I was originally planning on leaving today (Monday) or Tuesday morning, but over the last few days I was feeling that I had learned everything I could there. I felt as though I had nothing else I could do there and that everything I had to write was written. And so, a last minute decision was made to up and go. So right around 7PM I jumped in my car, with just under half a tank of gas, and drove the 120 miles south to Monterey.

I chose Monterey for a few different reasons. I’ll admit that some reasons were personal but the over all reason is not personal. I have a close friend that lives here and have been excited to be able to see her. I’ve been here once before and think this area is absolutely beautiful, so the photography is another reason I wanted to come here. The main reason I’m here however, is to bring to light side of homelessness we don’t think of as often; the side that media rarely, if ever, depicts, and that is homelessness in smaller cities. Besides the time I spent in Rapid City, SD I haven’t been in a place with a population around or below 50,000.

These smaller places have a much smaller budget for homeless outreach than the major metropolitan areas I've been in. As far as I’ve been able to see, Monterey does not have a shelter. The closest place is a Salvation Army in the neighboring town, Seaside. I spent today, like every other “first day there” getting myself good and lost and realizing that it’s been a long time since I’ve been here. I went online to figure out what services there are here and what there is as far as temp agencies, so that I can get some work and be able to make the 320 mile trip to Los Angeles in a few weeks.

Besides trying to find work, my time here will be spent shedding light on how living homeless in a smaller town is for the people who live it. I don’t feel like I did a very good job of that while I was in Rapid City, and I hope round two is more of an eye opening experience for me and you.

Thank You

Just like Jerry Seinfeld, I'm Telling You This For The Last Time

There’s been some discussion due to the article about me and this “journey” I’m on in the Mankato Free Press about whether I’m homeless or a drifter. First of all, who cares? Label me with whatever you want my homeless drifting has nothing to do with me. I’m not out here trying to get hand outs from anyone. I’m perfectly happy working to pay my way from city to city. The “Donate” button is there for people who feel like they want to contribute to what I’m trying to do. I’m just as happy when there aren’t donations as when there are.

My focus right now is not about me and my life. I’ve said this so many times and could probably type it in my sleep; I decided to write about homelessness and I only write what I know. The only way I know how to write about homelessness is by living it. Do not flip my words around. Do not try to read between the lines. I write straight forward for a reason and that reason is to make sure no one misunderstands what I’m saying and what I’m doing.

By choosing to do this, I have cemented my “cause” for the next several years. The work I plan to do through out my return to a “normal” life and college is centered on homelessness. Homelessness is the epicenter of my life now. I don’t like things being given to me. In fact there’s nothing that makes me feel more uncomfortable, except maybe strange people too close to me or God forbid hugging me. That was a joke. Laugh. Right now, the best I can do to “pay” for meals and lodging is to volunteer as often as possible. But when my travels are over, I will be spending countless hours and more than likely years, doing whatever I can to “pay back” and forward the places that were so generous as to serve me during this time. It’s only the right thing to do.

Now I will not be explaining myself again. I ask nothing of anyone else except for what they want to do themselves.

To those of you who love and support me in all the choices I’ve made throughout my life, thank you, I love you dearly, I think about you all often. You are what gives me the drive and motivation to keep on keeping on when life sucks majorly. To those of you who don’t; no one is forcing you to pay any attention to me or what I’m doing. You can go on with your life loving what you do, while I go on with my life loving what I do, and we can all live in hippie harmony. Through out this part of my life I’ve never asked for any press. Those people have always come to me.

Thank you for reading the things I have to write. I love you all for the strength you give me during this time in my life. It get’s lonely often and there have been days that seeing how many people are reading my words or following the Life With No Roof Facebook page are all that keep my spirits up.

Sick and Homeless

For the last few days, I've not been feeling 100%. I wasn't sure if I was sick or just needing to move to the next city until this morning. It's a sure thing, I'm a little bit sick. I've had a few colds in the time I've been living on the street, but now I've got something somewhat more than a cold.

So now the question is what do I do to get better. Under normal circumstances I'd sleep in, spend some time laying around, eat some hot soup, and get better. My problem at hand is that I don't have the opportunity to sleep in, lay around, eat hot soup (unless it's being served somewhere) and therefore, I can't get better fast.

I've spent as much time as I can indoors. I've been watching movies on Hulu at the library. I've been drinking a lot of Emergen-C. That stuff is amazing. Beyond that, I don't really know for sure what I can do. I'm definitely not going to be sleeping outside ever in the next couple weeks. If you've got any suggestions or ideas for me, please let me know.

As for feeling like I'm either sick or ready to move on to the next city goes, I've decided to take that as a sign that it's getting to be time to leave San Francisco. So on Monday or Tuesday I'm going to make my way to Monterey, CA. San Francisco has been great. It's a beautiful city and I've really enjoyed my time here, but it is time to move on. Hopefully I'll be feeling better after the weekend.

Break the Routine

For many of us, every morning is exactly the same. We wake up at the same time. Get out of the same bed. Take a shower just the same. Eat the same thing. Watch the same news. Drive the same car to the same parking space at the same job. Say hello to the same people. The only thing that changes is what you're wearing; if you're lucky.

My life has gotten that same way. I was starting to see a pattern. Wake up at the same time with the same pain in my back. Eat the same thing. Brush my teeth. Walk the same streets. Look at the same buildings. Today, I spiced things up.

Occasionally, after eating the oatmeal that the winter shelter serves in the morning I would go to a place called Glide for second breakfast. It brings me back to standing in a very long line for a little bit of food. I usually decided it's not worth the wait and so I don't go there very often. I have an acquaintance named Will who, in order to get full "General Assistance" payments volunteers at Glide two or three times a week. So, this morning, in an attempt to break the monotony, tagged along. 

To be a Glide volunteer, you have to be there at 7AM. You first set up the dining room putting the chairs up, and helping to get breakfast ready to serve. Then everyone is assigned their own task; either working on the serving assembly line or helping in the dining room. I was on the serving assembly line. I was charged with the task of putting one salt and one pepper packet on each tray. I did this for about an hour and a half.

After eating time was done, we cleaned up the dining room. And then, volunteer breakfast. You can eat as much as you want and it's not crowded and loud. It's a nice relaxing breakfast. Then when that's all done and you're ready to go back out into the world, it is light out, and those awkward mornings of nothing really to do are totally bypassed.

It felt great to do something I don't normally; both to get some change in your day, and it's also nice to be able to give back to an organization that keeps a lot of people, including myself, well fed.

I've been Waiting a Long Time...

If there’s one thing that becomes part of your life the fastest if you’re homeless, it’s waiting in lines. There are lines for food, lines for a bed, lines to get into a building for shelter. Honestly, I’m getting sick of lines.

It’s not just standing in line that becomes an essential part of every day, however. There’s just a lot of waiting and then rushing. Hurry up and wait takes on a life of it’s own for the homeless, especially in big cities. Back when I was in Rapid City, South Dakota (which seems like a very long time ago now that I think about it) I can remember waiting in a line of about 30 to 50 people to be served dinner. At the time, it seemed like I was waiting forever. These days I get all excited if there are only 50 people in the line.

This morning I waited for 6:30 until about 11:30 to take a shower and do my laundry. Right now I’m clean and my clothes are clean. It’s been 7 weeks since I’ve been able to say that I’m clean and so is everything I’m wearing. It’s an incredible feeling; vaguely familiar, but only vaguely. I feel as though I’ve never waited so long for anything, but I’ve also never been so happy to wait for something. I’ve waited for meals that were tasty and filling and they made me happy, but the feeling of being clean outweighs any full belly. Ha! Not literally though, I guess.

This morning I saw a raccoon! 

He was decidedly unhappy about being paparazzied. “Then stop being so famous!” I say.