Coming Home

On March 31st I arrived back in Minnesota where I have lived most of my life. It was the second time I had returned from being gone for an extended leave of absence and once again I find myself, because I'm such a nerd, reciting the words of Frodo Baggins, "How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you know there is no going back?"

I've lived most of my life struggling to have the basic needs of human life. I know that in America most of what we see as basic needs are not needs at all, but I grew up watching my peers having nicer clothes, better toys, nicer homes, less homemade from scratch food which, as a child, I saw as better food. I don't want it to sound like I'm complaining about my upbringing, class status or anything else, the truth is I loved my childhood, and there's nothing I'd change about my upbringing. I only mention that to illustrate the fact that in leaving on this adventure, I wasn't a trust fund kid slumming, I wasn't looking for handouts, and I wasn't wanting to give that impression. All I wanted to do is what I thought someone needed to do to show anyone who would pay attention, what some people go through on a daily basis. I've made friends along the way who, as I've kept in contact with them, have watched them work their way off the streets and back to much better living conditions. That is amazing, and I'm glad for their friendship and amazed by the way they opened up to me and gave me insights into their private lives.

Sadly, this is not the end of the struggles in this country. Hard working people are still losing their jobs, many employers are still not giving their remaining employees raises in pay. With the ever rising price of gas and in turn everything else, America's lower class is sinking farther while the middle class is only just keeping their heads above the surface, so to speak. I'm sorry to say that in a world of corrupted politicians things are not going to change. It's up to us to change things, we can't fight about our petty differences anymore.

Donate time, old clothes, blankets, shoes, furniture, and if you can money to your local shelters. Something as simple as serving meals makes a world of difference to the people you serve and you will gain insight to how millions of people live, insights into their reality.

There's no way for me to pick up my life where I left it. I've seen and experienced too much to be the man I was only a year ago. Looking back on all I've done, I have no real regrets, despite what many people have said to me or about me, I've seen success in what I set out to do. This blog has been read thousands of times in over30 countries around the world, and it continues to be read by an increasingly diverse group of people. I only hope that my insights have made some sort of a difference in the world.

Check back now and then; this isn't the last post, although they will be farther between than they have been in the past.

Losing Sleep

I've had trouble sleeping for nearly half my life. At first it was a major annoyance and I'd flat out lying if I said that I don't feel the same way some nights still, but I have gotten used to it. I've learned how to see the signs that I'm about to experience one of these nights, and therefore I don't waste them laying in bed hopelessly counting sheep or some other lame way to unsuccessfully bore myself to sleep. These days I spend that time doing something to help myself.

I mentioned that I'm writing a novel. Tonight, being one of those sleepless nights, I've been able to spend sometime thinking about the things I need to write this week; the hoops I need to make these characters, whose lives become more and more real to me everyday, jump through, and which of them are going to emerge on the other side with grace and who's going to fall.

It's nearly 6AM in Phoenix, I've already watched a few of my friends on the East Coast wake up and go about their morning routines via Facebook. It's an odd feeling to know that these people, some of who are the dearest of friends I have, are waking up when I'm not even thinking about falling asleep and when it comes down to it, we're not that far apart; driving I could get there today and a flight would three maybe four hours. What a small world we live in. It gets smaller everyday and everyday each person is connected more and more to every other person in the world. When ever you think that what happens somewhere else, to someone else, doesn't matter to you or make a difference in your life, remember that you're part of this world, and each time one life is lost prematurely, we all loose identity. It's only through the cooperation of every species, every race, every human being that we can make this world what it should be. Too often are we consumed by petty differences and let them stop us from seeing the good in the world and in each other.

The novel that is currently consuming my life is about love, it's about learning about ourselves, learning from our mistakes, and helping one another be the best people we can. It's not a lesson that any of us are ever done learning but it is one that we often pretend to know whether we practice it or not. Nothing about any of us, or anything in this world for that matter, is perfect, but that doesn't give anyone an adequate excuse not to try to improve where we need to.

Wednesday Update

It's been awhile since I wrote anything on here. Honestly, I don't have a lot to write about that I really haven't already, so I've decided to just let you all know what I've been doing lately.

I'm in Phoenix, Arizona. My brother Dustin and his wife Kristin live here, so I've been staying with them. It's been great to be with family again. I also have a little more family here, but I haven't had the chance to go see them as of yet, but I'll get there.

I've been filling my days with a lot of reflection. Not only reflection on the last seven months of my life and the things that have occurred in that time, but a lot about the last five years of my life, and the experiences I've had, and the people I've met. I've been taking all of those things in and have started working on a project I've thought about for sometime.

What's the project? Well, until recently I didn't really know myself, but I've come to realize that it's a book. Not a book about homelessness or the things I experienced while on the road, but a coming of age story mostly about twenty somethings and the relationships that we have in that time that teach us about ourselves and shape us to be mature enough to have the kind of relationships that last. It's not a typical love story, but romance is a pretty big theme through out, and really, if not for romantic relationships, there wouldn't be a story.

So I've kind of been shutting myself off from the outside world to work on this book. When I started, I planned on writing a novella (around 150 pages), but the story has progressed more as I've started writing and it seems like it's going to turn into a novel.

Besides sitting inside and writing all day long, I've been continually taking at least a minute of my time each day for some photography. In June 2010 I started a photography project to help strengthen my portfolio. I've been making sure to take at least one picture everyday. But no matter how many I take, one is selected as the picture of the day. Those are available for your viewing pleasure on the Sean Donner Photography Facebook page. Enjoy.

I'll keep writing here with updates on my life until I'm back in a home of my own again so keep checking back!

I love you all,

Sean

Social Networking

Most of us absolutely hate Facebook in one way or another. It's addictive. It takes over our lives. It can create unwanted drama. Sure, that all may be true, but to the homeless it's a way to connect and feel a lot less alone.

Read this article from the Los Angeles Times. You might just see how important Social Networking sites are to some people. The Wired Homeless

I can't complain about Facebook myself, The vast majority of readers find this blog from there, and for that I thank you, and everyone at Facebook... the company.

Losing The Beard

This is me. My name is Sean Donner. Seven months ago, I wouldn't stand out to anyone in a crowd. I looked like every other person, and really, there was nothing super special about me. Then I got an idea to live homeless from city to city across the western states of America. Part of whole idea was not shaving. At the time I thought that homeless people couldn't shave and therefore all of the men had beards. I quickly saw that that wasn't at all true. But I didn't have anything to shave with, and so a beard grew. And although I didn't like it, there it was. By the time I was given a razor, my beard was far too long to shave off.

Well, I decided enough was enough and acquired a beard trimmer on February 14th. I got back to my brothers house in Phoenix ready to rid myself of the thick red hairy mess that was attached to my face when I realized that my beard trimmer needed to be charged for 14 hours. So after waiting about six hours I couldn't wait any longer. Here's what happened.

This is right before the trimmer was turned on. A crazy smile goes with a crazy beard.

Obviously the trimmer didn't last through the whole beard. I got the sides mostly trimmed down and it had had enough.

An hour or so later I went back at it, and got it shaved well enough for the night. 

Yep, with that I can sleep easy. I'd finish it in the morning.

So here we are all showered up and finished trimming. Oh for the record, I didn't forget the mustache, I left it on purpose. I'm going to look like a real old west cowboy for awhile. We'll see how long it lasts. 

So there it is. I'm sorry to anyone who was really looking forward to seeing the beard in all it's glory. But this is after all my life, so you can just go think about that.

Family Matters

Last night at about 8:00 I arrived in Phoenix, AZ after a six hour drive from Los Angeles, CA. I drove straight to my brother and sister in law's house on the north side of the city. It's great to be with some family; over the last few months I've become a bit on the lonely side for some familiar faces. Not just familiar faces, but family.

Over the last couple of days I've been thinking about all the people I've met since I've been on the road. There were so many people who would talk about their families and I would just think about how someone could sleep at night knowing that their father or son is out on the streets, occasionally in some bad situations. There are people out there who really don't have any close family members, but there are plenty that do have close family members. Some of the younger people have parents or siblings that would be more than willing to take them in and help them get back on their feet. And for those who don't live near their family, there's a program (often called Homeward Bound) that will pay your way anywhere in the country if there's someone there who will take you in so you can get back on your feet.

So why don't they?

It's not that difficult to empathize with; at least that's my opinion. Most adults want nothing more that to be able to take care of themselves, and as hard as it is to live off of food given at shelters and kitchens, it's a much larger hit to your ego and self esteem to be taken care of by your parents or siblings. Many other ones are very much like the Prodigal Son, meaning that their family loves them and wishes they could see them, but honestly have no idea where they are, or what their living situation is.

It's sad that it's that way, but in many cases our damning pride is stronger than our desire to live normally.

Panhandling

Officially, I don’t condone panhandling. I feel like you should do something for the money you’re given. And I don't think that it's a good way to spend time if you're claiming you'd rather have a job. This is why anytime I’ve been asked by people who they should give money to or where to donate, I suggest shelters, kitchens, other local homeless programs, and as far as individuals goes, people who are doing more than standing or sitting with a sign. I like people who are out there playing an instrument. As a wannabe musician and a music lover, there are few things that make me happier than unexpected live music. So it’s my opinion that people should donate to the people who are doing something more than those who just stand there with a sign.

With that said, I’ve watched, talked to, hung out with and been one of those people. (I panhandled twice in order to get the experience to be able to intelligently write about it) So first off, for those of you who are a panhandler, here are some simple rules of ethics. Why do you need ethics in panhandling? People are more likely to give you money if you're not a total dick. I've seen people walking the streets screaming about no one caring about him, but he was really making it hard to want to help him. Yesterday, I watched a man panhandling at the way out of a parking lot. I watched for a while as he explained to a man that he couldn't get a job because he's an ex-con. I don't know what he did to go to jail or prison, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for him. He was talking back to people who didn't give him money and to another homeless man who was panhandling in the same area, which brings me to the next ethics rule.

Don't overcrowd an area. If you have a spot that you like and one day you get there and someone else is there, don't try to fight him for it, respectfully find a different place for that day and get there earlier the next day. Don't fight for "turf", you don't have any.

I've already talked about it but do something. You're less likely to be looked at or treated badly if you're doing something that people would want to tip you for. Everyone has a talent of some kind; use it. I've obviously come in contact with people playing music, I've seen people selling art. I've been told jokes and spent time with people who make tips telling jokes.

The point is if you're going to beg, realize that you're going to be looked down at, don't get mad, don't fight over a street corner, and for goodness sake, do something.